Tax Time

Many years ago, I naively imagined that when I retired, I would be free: free from paying taxes, free from going to the dentist, free to sit on my rocking chair on my porch and watch the Fords go by. My oh my, what a dreamer. Now that I am older, much older, the tax man still knocks at my door, I still go to the dentist and physicians (not one but several now because there are so many specialists – and ailments). And I don’t have a rocking chair on my porch and there may not be Fords or Chryslers driving by before long (if you believe the media).

Tax time. Years ago it was simpler. I could do my taxes on one page. Today? I counted the pages for my 2005 Income Taxes (and I’m just a little guy). Guess how many? Twenty-one (and that doesn’t count the pages and pages of data supporting those documents. Then, how long we do have to keep all those forms and documents? Three years? Seven years? Forever? If we are careless, poor at keeping records, or if we are a crook, we better hang on to what we’ve got for a long time.

Last year I paid to have my tax prepared for me. Guess what, I had to do most of the work because she couldn’t access my files, read my mind, or make an educated guess. Consequently I had to do an enormous amount of work digging into past records, reconciling income with deductions, and living in two different States added to the struggle. Fortunately, my specialist knew where to put all those figures because that is what specialists are paid to do.

Now, here I am struggling with another Senior Moment. This year it is more complicated than ever and I am trying to do it myself on the computer with a tax program which is really quite easy to follow except I gotta come up with the figures. About 10 years ago, I decided to create my own Mutual Fund. Rookie that I am, I studied the market as an amateur, chose six funds in different categories, paid into them 4-5 times and then forgot about them (except at tax time).

Now, in my right mind, I decided to liquidate these babies. To my dismay, I failed to keep track but I did pay tax on the dividends and on the sale of one or two of the stocks. But those rascals multiplied. One of them split a couple of times. Another splintered into 4 or 5 other companies and some of those merged with other stocks or fizzled. Two of my stocks merged (one swallowed the other but took its name). So here I am, trying to not cheat Uncle Sam and his State and Local cousins and yet meet the deadline.

Dreamer that I was in my youth, I am still paying taxes which are more complicated than ever, and while trying to save a buck, doing it myself. However, in all fairness, I’ve gotta recognize the alternative. If I had no money, I wouldn’t have to pay taxes. And if I didn’t have to pay taxes, I could enjoy April a whole lot more. But what about the other eleven months without any money?

How would I put food on our table? Take my wife to a nice restaurant on her birthday, Mother’s Day or for that Valentine moment? How could we go visit our grandkids or buy season tickets to the symphony or have friends over for a gourmet dinner (my spouse is a very fine chef de haute cuisine)?

Ah yes, fellow seniors. We do have our moments, don’t we? Well, don’t let April Fool’s Day (the taxable one) spoil your month or your year. If Uncle Sam gets richer because you pay taxes, he won’t weep if you pay. So why should we weep? And if you pay a whole bunch, think of what you’ve got left over. Maybe this moment ain’t all bad.