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Category: Government & Politics / Topics: Humor News Politics

Watkins for President 2016

by James N. Watkins

Posted: February 6, 2016

Contributor and humorist Watkins throws his pen into the presidential race…

I am formally throwing my pen into the presidential race!

I’m too conservative to be a Democrat, too liberal to be a Republican and too OCD to be a Libertarian, so I am running with the Tupperware Party: “Putting a lid on government.” Here are my planks in attractive, dish-washer-safe colors.

This is a very non-partisan campaign (I intend to offend all voters!), so I would appreciate your support by posting any of my “Hope & Humor” cartoons or links to my columns on your Facebook, Twitter, your blog or other social networks. (Simply right click on a cartoon, save it and then post. Thanks!)

jimshortsprezinGodwetrust

God is on our side! And theirs?
Pundits are claiming that our country is “polarized” to Civil War proportions over moral, fiscal and political issues. Part of the problem maybe that the issues that polarize us as a country are religion-based. [Continue reading]

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jimshortspreztruth16

Liar! Liar! Pantsuit on fire!
I’m a fierce independent and someone with a journalism background, so if Ben Carson is lying about his rags to surgical scrubs story, that is a valid inquiry. It just wish Hillary Clinton was held to the same journalistic standards. [Continue reading]

jimshortsprezfigures16

Candidates need to follow “Yellow Brick Road”
This election, I’m looking for a man or woman who has a brain, a heart and, oh yes, courage! [Continue reading]

Last Candidate Standing!
Perhaps national elections should be staged as reality TV shows: The Amazing Political Race, Keeping Up with the Kandidates, Conservative Eye for the Liberal Guy, Dancing with the Issues or Survivor: Electoral College. And the best part? It would run only from September through November “sweeps” each election year! [Continue reading]

jimshortsprezrhetoric16

Speaking with truth . . . and grace
I’ve been accused of being a “hateful,” “intolerant,” “homophobic,” “right-wing, conservative Christian nut case,” and a few other things not suitable for this website. I’ll plead guilty on the “Christian nut case” charge, but I don’t believe attempting to present objective information condemns one to being shackled to those adjectives. [Continue reading]

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jimshortsprezjobs16

jimshortspreznonessential16

jimshortsprezspam16

Top ten ways to reduce the national debt
10. Sponsor a national garage sale (Do we really need two Dakotas?) [Continue reading]

My plan to eliminate Infernal Revenue Service
If elected, I promise to work to abolish the current convoluted tax system. [Continue reading]

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jimshortsprezabortion216

Is it a ‘life’ or a ‘choice’?
It’s not a part of your body! It is a completely separate being with unique DNA and a fifty/fifty chance of being a different gender, blood type, . . . [Continue reading]

jimshortsprezlaws16

jimshortsprezpolls16

Will God’s purpose be accomplished election day?
I have a degree in theology and so, with complete confidence, I can emphatically state, “It’s a mystery!” I do, however, know this . . . [Continue reading]

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WWJE? Who would Jesus elect?
Don’t support someone simply because he or she mouths the right spiritual sound bytes. [Continue reading]

jimshortslesserof2evils

You want me to pray for whom?!
No matter who is elected on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November 2016, Christians are urged to pray for every elected official, not just those they supported. [Continue reading]

* Not associated with the fine resealable containers from the good people at Tupperware.

If you support my candidacy and the Tupperware Party, please share on your social networks. Thanks!



Search all articles by James N. Watkins

Jim Watkins is a humorist, author, and speaker who says of himself that he "loves God, his family, writing, speaking and Chinese food—in that order"

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Posted: February 6, 2016   Accessed 256 times

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