Adoption

Adoption is the art of adopting. To adopt is to take legally into one’s family and raise as one’s own. Its synonyms include appropriate, approve, choose, embrace, foster, maintain, ratify, sanction, support while its antonyms are very blunt: disown, repudiate. To create a sentence it could look like this: Adoption is taking a person into your family to raise as your own, embracing, ratifying, sanctioning and supporting but not disowning or repudiating.

Now. Is that too strong? Too weak? Too inclusive or exclusive? Adoption involves a decision between family members. It can involve choice: nationality, color, age, special need; it also demands consideration of cost, time, energy, adjustment, long or short term commitment, paper work. It can also include disappointment, despair, delay and doubt. Adoptions do not always go smoothly, on schedule, as promised or anticipated.

However, many if not most adoptions are worth the effort, time, discipline of family and the one adopted; and yes, even the dissolving of an adoption, its bereavement or despair. Then there are reasons why a child or youth becomes a potential for adoption: neglect, death of parent(s), abuse, rejection, abandonment, poverty, injury or illness, birth defect, unfit parental situation, convenience. And there are many reasons why people want to adopt. One more reflection: legal matters, birth parent interference, borders, language, frauds (and there are some), excessive restrictions, intimidation and hidden defects.

Now you ask: What does this have to do with senior moments? Seniors normally don’t or can’t adopt. True. Many of us would not qualify, nor would we be able much less willing, but many would have had lots of experience even though that may not count. However, there are many seniors, grandparents who come to the rescue. So, yes, it can be a senior moment topic.

In our own situation we have an adoption family. Sixteen years ago we met our eleven-month old granddaughter with her new parents as they returned from China. She arrived with an undetected ear infection, endured a long plane ride with strangers. But still she smiled as her new Mom and Dad walked up the incline at the airport. Her Grandmother held her for a few moments. Then her Grandfather (me) and she cried and cried. The next day she cuddled in my arms for a couple of hours while her parents made their way through some unpleasant red tape for the rest of their journey.

Recently this family of four went to China to revisit her region where she was gently abandoned about seventeen years ago. It was a wonderfully moving experience for the entire family as the Chinese welcomed them warmly. Their total Chinese experience will result in unforgettable memories for them.

Our son married a young lady from the Philippines and they are heading South to celebrate their tenth anniversary. They have literally adopted her distant family as there is no father/grandfather but her mother, two sisters, a brother-in-law and three children. Recently, they took them (nine all together) from Manila to Hong Kong for the time of their lives.

When my wife and I married, we lived much of our married lives apart from family. Consequently, wherever we lived we had “adopted grandparents” for our children. Adoption, not unlike so many other aspects of life, can be very fulfilling, adventuresome, rewarding just as it can become burdensome, troublesome. It is a treasured innovation as well as food for thought for Senior Moments.