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Category: Aging, General / Topics: Humor

Birds of a Feather

by Dan Seagren

Posted: May 27, 2007

Let's meet some of the people you'll meet at a retirement home or a skilled nursing facility…

The senior moment of moving into a retirement home or a skilled nursing facility will not happen to a majority of seniors contrary to an assumption made by many. Although this move can be traumatic for not a few seniors, it can also be one of relief, possibly even pleasure.

Let’s review this possibility for a moment. A continuing care retirement facility usually consists of several levels of living: independent, semi-independent, assisted living, memory loss levels and skilled nursing to mention the basics (terminology varies from facility to facility). True, many live alone (single or couple) too long at times but either can’t or won’t move into a retirement situation.

Sometimes this kind of move is carefully planned and at times it is forced on individuals due to various circumstances such as a stroke, a fall, a heart attack or a lingering, relentless illness. Few know in advance what communal living is like. So let’s visit an anonymous facility which has multiple levels. No matter the level, human nature, softened or hardened by passing years, remains pretty much the same although mentation and locomotion will vary. Let’s meet some of these senior residents who will be given appropriate names.

Rose Tardy is almost always late. She makes the bus wait, or her dining companions, or her spouse of many years who has adapted rather well. Down the hall is Joe Blow who was never a big shot in life but you’d never guess that by his blustery braggadocio. Ironically, next door, same floor lives ol’ Gus. Might be short for Gustav or Gustaf. Gus is as casual as one can get, rarely gets dressed up and is as quiet as a mouse. Only a few know that he once was the CEO of a well-known company but never flaunts his past. And few bother to ask.

Tillie Grapevine is an amazing person. Confined to a wheel chair, she rarely leaves the building, and is often found at the entrance to her domicile where she watches the traffic move about. However, she speaks to anyone and everyone, and what  many do not know, she spends a lot of time in her room on her telephone. No one would call her Mrs. Gossip (that belongs to another person) but she does know everything that is going on, within and beyond the facility.

Mrs. Gossip on the other hand utilizes the insights of Tillie, distorts it randomly, and spreads the misguided fabrications in many directions with unwarranted consequences.

Then there is Doc. Everyone calls him Doc but he not a physician but has a diagnosis for every ailment. He has collected pills for years, hoarding them for those moments when called upon to administer advice which he backs up with impressive looking paraphernalia. Sooner or later everyone knows he’s a quack but he is so disarming, even charming, that residents want to believe.

Speaking of belief. When it comes to religion, Padre, as he is nicknamed, has a word for everyone. Dogmatic, even abrasive at times, he lacks the charisma of Doc which is fortunate because his theology at times is rather bizarre and his following is sparse.

Yes, these are only a few but somewhat representative of some of the residents who live communally. Because most of us pick and choose rather easily, we will soon discover that it is true: birds of a feather do flock together.  Better yet, there are a lot of good birds around.



Search all articles by Dan Seagren

Dan Seagren is an active retiree whose writings reflect his life as a Pastor, author of several books, and service as a Chaplain in a Covenant Retirement Community.

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Posted: May 27, 2007   Accessed 131 times

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