Bonding

My computer thesaurus gives three definitions for bonding: fastening or person attachment (and soldering), personal relationship and technique. We'll skip soldering and merge the three: Bonding involves a technique for a personal relationship which results in an attachment.

Recently my wife and I visited our son and his wife 1,100 miles away so we don't see them every day. Recently they brought home a Maltese puppy which of course we had to get acquainted with. Here's a description I found: “The Maltese is spirited, lively and playful. Gentle, loving, trusting and devoted to its master. Highly intelligent. Good at learning tricks. Bold and quick to sound the alarm in case of suspicious noises. It is a classical companion dog; graceful and lovable. They do well with other non-canine animals and other dogs. Maltese love to play outdoors. Some like to jump in puddles.”

Not too bad. After spending about a week together, we got to know each other. We even watched her play in an unusual dog park in a nearby community. She was quick, and would run, run, run, checking out every dog in the part (it had two sections for those under and over 30 pounds). When confronting a larger animal (Bella weighed about 6 pounds), she would sniff, and then lie down and play dead.

After we left for home, our son reported that she was rather listless, waiting at the foot of the stairway leading to our bedroom. Naturally, they assumed she was looking for those strangers who invaded her domain but of course they couldn't read her mind. Needless to say, she wasted no time for a seven-month old puppy, looking for attention. And she got it from both of us in addition to what she was used to.

Spoiled? I don't think so. But we bonded with her rather readily which was good for all of us. Bonding, unfortunately, does not always occur. It takes two, not one, to make it happen. Had she ignored us, we would have felt badly but would not have forced the issue. Had we ignored her, bonding would not have happened. For us, it was a worthwhile experience.

When an individual or a culture loses its capacity to bond with others, a vacuum occurs which too often is filled with something unlike a “personal relationship resulting in an attachment.” We witness this in parent-child relationships, teacher-student scenarios, pastor-parishioner settings and coach-player scenes plus a zillion other potentials for essential bondings.
Individualism and laissez faire attitudes do not lend themselves usually to the delightful and wholesome bonding which is so much better than isolationism. Bella, only seven months old, was a delightful reminder of how important bonding is as well as how easy and pleasant it can be achieved.