Family Foibles

Foibles is an unusual word with meanings ranging from idiosyncrasies to peculiarities to specialties. Over the years we have seen the traditional family (mom, dad and the kids) diminish. In fact, even we old timers barely remember the extended family (grandparents, mom and dad, maybe an uncle and aunt, cousins and even grandkids under one roof). When dad was too lenient, an uncle or grandfather rose to the occasion. Older kids trained and disciplined the younger. Lots of checks and balances.    

Now we are witnessing some things that have risen to fill the gaps left by the troubled "nuclear" family (mom, dad and the kids). We have the single mom or dad family, same-sex parenting, the divided family (where the kids go back and forth between households), where grandparents raise their grandkids, foster homes and the like. 

When times are tough (high unemployment, huge debts, lowered salaries, listless job markets, long food lines), what happens? Many things. Often to the rescue comes the family (or what is left of it). A single mom, on welfare, is hardly able to ease the frustrations of her unemployed child. This is where good, solid families are sorely missed.

For existing families, what is happening? For one thing, they are housing their boomerang kids, with or without regulations, demands or expectations. We're told that between 2007 and 2011, young adults living with their parents increased from 19 to 22 million. Nearly 70% of parents offer their grown kids some assistance including rent, food, debt, car payments and health expenses.

The average graduate debt runs about $20,000 or more. Starting salaries are often lower if a job can be found. For those doubting the value of the family, this could or should lessen some doubts. Mos families today know someone in a stressful situation including parents who are spending their offspring's inheritance prematurely.

The question keeps coming to the surface: Is the traditional family outmoded, redundant? If so, what will replace it? Will it be better or not as good? As parents of a child who got too deeply in debt, lived lavishly oblivious to tomorrow and shows little or no remorse much less appreciation, should they turn a blind eye toward their own flesh and blood?

Old fashioned parenting is a marvelous invention but we must ask: are modern family endeavors up to the task?