Is Silence Always Golden?

Two seniors are quietly sitting in a boat at the local fishing lake fishing and talking. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, one says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife--she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." The other pauses, then philosophically says, "You better think it over--women like that are hard to find."

Senior moments arise at times out of nowhere. Sometimes out of somewhere. Whatever, they do originate, sometimes with profound wisdom while at other times they are an embarrassment. Of course, this is not solely the domain of the senior. It can happen to anyone at any age. The difference is that fewer embarrassments ought to emerge from seniors. However, if you’ve been around many seniors, you’ll soon discover wise philosophies and some near idiocies.

Idiocy? One dictionary begins with this definition: obstinate folly followed by folly, stupidity, fatuity, obstinacy, imbecility and feeble-mindedness. Now, as a senior myself, I’d certainly be careful not to use some of these expressions. Just as I wouldn’t want to be called feeble-minded I sure wouldn’t want to call anyone else feeble-minded. Obstinate, maybe but not an imbecile.

Back to the senior fishermen. How would people respond to that story? Some would laugh and look for someone with whom to share it. Others would be offended and a few wouldn’t catch on. And it could depend on gender as well. That’s one of the perils as well as pleasures of being philosophical. For some it is a disaster, for others a delight. Being philosophical does have its risks.

Fortunately, when a person has tacked on a few decades to life, more wisdom than levity may be expected. However, if carried to an extreme, every time we open our mouths, make a statement or wax philosophically, our wives/husbands, children, grandchildren, neighbors, friends and others may have too high expectations. This particular kind of senior moment could be unjust.

It could cause us to become fearful of making an utterance. Or, it could urge us to overuse levity lest we become too stuffy or philosophical. Even worse, others could expect words of wisdom with every utterance. The result? a kind of a reversal of out of the mouth of babes becoming out of the mouth of seniors.

So, what should we seniors do? Should we become recluses and say nothing that will incriminate us? Should we brag incessantly about our exploits and experiences? Should we give answers even when we don’t know what we’re talking about? Should we dominate every conversation? Should we be embarrassed when we can’t speak or understand kidtalk or teentalk?

The answers should be obvious. If not, these senior moments may be troublesome. How good it is to be able to reflect on our long lives without being boring or intimidating. How good it is when we are aware of the fine line between cockiness and self confidence, prejudice and tolerance, offending and being winsome.

Maybe Jesus was on the right track when speaking rather bluntly to his disciples: be wary as serpents, innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16 NEB). Not bad advice for seniors as well.