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Category: Relationships / Topics: Faith Family Love Relationships

Marriage or Mirage

by Dan Seagren

Posted: September 26, 2020

A long view of the state of marriage today…

I read that In addition to the half of US adults who were married in 2016, the number of Americans living with an unmarried partner reached about 18 million, up 29% since 2007.

Assuming that mar­riages ending in divorce falls roughly between 40% and 50%, would that suggest that the 50% or 60% who stay together are satisfied although some who divorce do so for other reasons. Then there are couples that remain legally married but live separately.Is it true that two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women? Could it be true that the national length of marriage in the United States is about 8.2 years.? Could 60% of second marriages end in divorce?If the median age at first marriage in the US is now nearly 30 for men and 28 for women, up from 27 and 25 in 2003, could that be a tough topic to tangle with? And who really has the exact figures?

Lets move on. Male and Female created He (God) them. After thousands of years a third sex hasn’t been created so lets stick with male and female. Almost it is unimaginable what has happened with the two sexes: births of a male or a female, coalitions of sorts, still births, abortions, adoptions, rape, twins and quintuplets and so on. Today we perhaps are witnessing one of the highest rate of abortions, disruptions, broken marriages, divorce and unmarried unions so maybe it is wake up time especially for unmarried couples and uncountable abortions.

Here is one definition: It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is often cut short.

Another: The process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and perma­nent. One more: Also called matrimony or wedlock, a union of spouses establishing rights and obligations be­tween them, their children and in-laws.

There are civil, religious, and spontaneous unions and marriages and multiple polygamy. Because marriage is often considered so important, here are some ingredients that should be included (alphabetically): Commitment, Communication, Forgiveness, Honesty, Humility, Selflessness, Sex, Time and Trust. Do add another to make it ten ______________________.

There are many stages and questions in a marriage. Who comes first? The hardest year or years? How many children, if any? Willing or unwilling to adapt? If and when to call it quits? Live separately but stay married? How do mothers and fathers fit in? How about children and in-laws and outlaws? Is the Bible correct when it says that a man should should leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife?

If a mirage is too often an optical illusion, with thousands of years of humanity, education, science and religion and men and women living together, should we come up with a substitute for marriage for this practice? After 61 years of marriage, my wife with the same number, in no way will I ever attempt to do that or even encourage it. Better yet would be to shrink or remove the optical illusions and restore the sanctity of marriage.

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Dan Seagren is an active retiree whose writings reflect his life as a Pastor, author of several books, and service as a Chaplain in a Covenant Retirement Community.

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Posted: September 26, 2020

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