Pondering Retirement

For many one of the great senior moments is the realization of retirement.  Naturally, this competes with other notable moments such as high school graduation, a well-deserved diploma, marriage, the birth of a child, the initial job and paycheck, the first Holy Communion or Bar Mitzvah or . . . The competition with retirement is endless, and sometimes ruthless, believe it or not.

There are other memorable occasions that are also unforgettable, less memorable, perhaps such as a first speeding ticket, getting fired, walking away from a solo motorcycle accident, flunking gym, getting divorced, bailing a child out of jail, having a manuscript rejected twenty times.

So, how does retirement compete with these and other events?  For some, it pales in comparison.  Many have counted the years, then days, then hours until age 65 (or 55, 62, or 70) arrives and then, Whoopie! It’s here. Three weeks later, more or less, comes the lament: Why did I ever quit my job?  Wonder if they’ll hire me back?  I’m so sick of playing golf every day . . . I can’t stand the silence.  I really miss the water cooler (meaning my cohorts).  I drove down to my old parking place and there was another car in it with a legitimate parking decal in the window.

Regrets do compete with contentment.  Retiring for some is ecstasy; for others, agony.  Rarely is it the same for everyone.  Let’s explore the phenomenon of retirement for a moment.

Retiring is a johnny-come-lately thing.  Without going into detail, retirement, with paid benefits, hasn’t had a long history.  Even insurance and annuities as instruments to help pave the way through a work-free epoch or soothe financial anguish of a nursing home is relatively recent.  My parents retired on a very modest retirement pension, social security and some savings.  However, my grandparents had no social security, no IRA, 403-k or 403-b, no pension, frugal savings and a bit of equity.

When the time came, these kinfolk continued to work as along as they were able, contributing to the welfare of the extended family.  But they usually died at home.  Nursing homes (and poor farms) were mainly for the orphaned elderly (those without family) and the destitute.  Along came the nuclear family (mom, dad and the kids) replacing the extended family (grand parents, parents, uncles, aunts and cousins living in close proximity) coupled with the move from rural to urban living.

Today, some feel that one of the finest gifts elderly parents can give their adult children is moving into a continuing care facility.  Such places were unknown, unimagined years ago.  After years of living apart as nuclear families, a sudden moving together of aging parents with adult children can be a noble gesture or a horrible mistake.

Fractured marriages, step-children and in-laws, a succession of spouses and broken chains-of-command make retirement strategies at best vulnerable.  Retirement can be well-deserved and eagerly anticipated just as it can be a bitter disappointment or an absolute disaster.  In short, retirement with carefully crafted plans is far superior to simply winging it.  Whoever said Look before you leap may have inadvertently meant seniors.