See listing of Recent and Most Popular articles on the Home Page

Senior Moments

Category: General / Topics: Language, Meaning

Softsoap and Soft-Soap

by Dan Seagren

Posted: August 23, 2008

This is one of those senior moments coming out of nowhere…

Softsoap is the name of a brand of liquid hand soap. Fits. We have a dispenser which is filled with a liquid soap. When dispensed, it comes out as foam. Nice. Except when it has been idle for awhile it shoots out in liquid form, not foam. Beware.

Soft-soap is also used as flattery or cajolery. Now cajolery can be defined as flattery, blarney or sweet- talk. Today I’d like to talk about soft-soap as sweet-talk, flattery or blarney. Or adulation. It is often possible to soft-soap or sweet-talk an issue avoiding the real point. Let me give you an example going back about fifty years. This is one of those senior moments coming out of nowhere.

Before getting married, I went to a medical clinic to have a thorough physical exam. The clinic had a fine reputation. Since I was single with no primary physician, I chose the clinic. It was a good choice. Why? Because the physician didn’t soft-soap me(To flatter in order to gain something). No sweet-talk. After the examination and tests, he sat down and pointed out the charts and his written notes. As I recall, he was concerned about one major factor.

It was the glucose tolerance test. I passed, but not to his liking. He said my sugar level returned to normal slower than he liked. He knew diabetes lurked in our family (father, brothers, uncles and more). So, he suggested . . . No, he bluntly told me to lose some weight. He wanted me to get down to 160-165 pounds. Not too bad I thought.

Then he lowered the boom. He put me on a 1200 calorie diet and insisted I stick with it until I reached 165 pounds. Because he was so insistent but in a compassionate way, I took him seriously and after awhile I reached 165 pounds where I remained for years. Now I weigh even less.

Had he soft-soaped me, who knows? Diabetes may have made my acquaintance. So far, so good. Physicians, pastors, parents and politicians all can be quite adept at soft-soaping, intentionally or otherwise. Now we wonder, just how can we be soft-soaped?

Possibly by a loan officer who is more anxious to please than safeguard and doesn’t ask enough questions. We get the loan, actually too much for our earning power, and when the going gets tough, we go under (and drag corporations with us). We can also watch an appealing commercial on TV and suggest (demand) that our physician prescribe it for us. To avoid confrontation, he yields even though it may not suit us as well as another prescription or procedure.

A politician may soft-soap his constituents lulling them into an ignorance of the depth of problems to be solved. A pastor or priest may avoid discussing crucial issues because the parishioner may not receive it too well. A parent can too easily soft-soap a child when a reprimand is really needed. And parents/grandparents can be victimized by sweet-talking kids. A merchant can sweet-talk a highly profitable product rather than one less lucrative but more effective.

Over and over again, in various ways, we hear about the vulnerability of seniors to sweet-talking con artists, scammers, identity thieves and the ever-present propositions of solicitors. Every week we get soft-soaped, sweet-talked by radio, TV and junk mail. At times we have to say No thanks or I’m sorry but not today. Or even Get lost.

Why are seniors so vulnerable? Generally, many but not all seniors are tender-hearted, softened by earlier hardships, sensitized by a previous inability to assist a person or a cause. Because there is at times a desire to make up for lost opportunities, Seniors do need to be reminded that soft-soap and sweet-talk, flattery or cajolery may not always be in their best interest.



Search all articles by Dan Seagren

Dan Seagren is an active retiree whose writings reflect his life as a Pastor, author of several books, and service as a Chaplain in a Covenant Retirement Community.

E-mail the author (su.nergaesnad@brabnad*) Author's website (personal or primary**)

* For web-based email, you may need to copy and paste the address yourself.

** opens in a new tab or window. Close it to return here.


Posted: August 23, 2008   Accessed 105 times

Go to the list of most recent Senior Moments Articles
Search Senior Moments (You can expand the search to the entire site)
Go to the list of Most Recent and Most Popular Articles across the site (Home Page)