Special Days

Mother's Day has come and gone, as has Memorial Day, and Father's Day follows in June. Now and then we see lists of days to honor which are unbelievably numerous. My wife and her siblings after years of separation have lived recently in our home town for about ten years. Now only the brother is left as the sisters moved to another city.

His concern, now that he was alone, was if they should continue taking turns placing flowers on the graves. Which brings us to the topic of Special Days, memorials, tending grave sites, regularly or occasionally, unless prohibited, allocation of expenditures, prioritization (who, when, how) among other elements.

It is true that some are exceptionally involved in remembering those who have gone on ahead while others are not as involved. Situations can vary considerably with closely knit families and those that have endured disharmony. Distance, both in terms of miles and empathy also enter the equation. It is conceivable that some who are duty bound may also be less concerned than those who had previously paid their respect.

My birth mother, who died when I was three years old, and my stepmother are buried thousands of miles apart yet my thoughts are with both at times. Now, after seventy years, I have returned to the city where my birth mother is buried and did visit her grave site. Situations vary so considerably that we must show not only reverence to their memory but also respect for others in their own personal involvement.

As I have said more than once, how I wish I had asked more questions about my mother. And I wished that my own beloved father would have talked more about her than he did. Commemoration is very important to many including holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, memorials. In addition there are numerous national holidays, world events, religious celebrations and so on that deserve our attention.

In looking up commemorative events, I found 27 yearly dates alone for Christian celebrations, 31 Hindu, and fewer for Muslims and Jews. For June alone, many holidays were listed plus unofficial days like April Fools Day, Friday the 13th, S.A.D. (single awareness day) and even a no pants day (first Friday of May). Holidays may be designated by governments, religious institutions, or other groups or organizations set aside by custom or by law allowing individuals to celebrate or commemorate an event or tradition.

Now we too can pick and choose hoping that we will not forget to remember.