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Category: Holidays / Topics: Holidays New Year's Opportunity Optimal Aging

The Best Man

by Dan Seagren

Posted: January 6, 2008

Thoughts on making the most of life—whatever your age—as we start a new year…

Most of will never get into the Guinness Book of World Records. Some of us have no idea what’s in this book since we either have not had the opportunity of looking into it lately or have little or no interest. Even so, there are some incredible entries including this one.

In August 1999, Phillip Hicks of Great Britain served as the best man at his daughter’s wedding. He was 93. Since I do not know the whole story, I can only speculate which actually is a fascinating but also dangerous thing to do.

First, I would think this is unusual for a parent to stand up for a child and especially for a father to be the best man for his daughter. That says something not only of the father/daughter relationship, it also says something significant about the father/son-in-law relationship. This alone is enough to make the Guinness portfolio.

Then, if the father is 93, how old might the daughter be? Sixty, seventy? And the groom? Same age? Older? Younger? Let’s assume that the daughter is sixty. Her husband could be 60, 70 or even 80.

On the other hand, he could be 50, even younger. Since we don’t know, we have to leave it at that. If she were rich, she could lure a younger man; if she were poor, she could attract an older gentleman. If they were of the same age, more or less, companionship could be the motivation.

One thing is quite certain: it most likely wasn’t a shotgun wedding (although it is conceivably possible—pardon the pun). The motivations, even in this situation, stagger the mind. We could go on with other possibilities but we’ll stop at this.

Most of us have lived long enough so that we ought to give the benefit of a doubt until we have reason to believe otherwise. Alas, some of us seem reluctant to give this benefit and conjure up all sorts of notions, initiate wild rumors and crush feelings on a variety of subjects.

This is one of  those negative senior moments that we ought to eschew. We don’t use that word very often but it is a good one. An alternative meaning is shun. But I like eschew because it isn’t overworked. It could also mean to abstain from or avoid.

To shun in certain circumstances involves a group of people castigating, ignoring, isolating or despising another person because of something said or done that was displeasing, contrary, immoral or illegal. It can be very effective but devastating. Maybe even irreparable. We have known this to be a formal exercise as well as an informal gesture energized by little children, teenagers, adults and alas, even seniors.

One of the fringe benefits of being a senior is a reservoir of experience which hopefully translates into wisdom which in turn enables us to give the benefit of a doubt.

Back to the 93 year-old best man. Here’s a toast to the bride and groom for a wonderful wedding and a meaningful marriage. To the best man: bravo! To those who would detract: no comment.



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Dan Seagren is an active retiree whose writings reflect his life as a Pastor, author of several books, and service as a Chaplain in a Covenant Retirement Community.

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Posted: January 6, 2008   Accessed 131 times

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