Debilitated Seniors

That word debilitated is a frightening word. If you are a senior, and have suffered a severe health crisis (e.g. stroke, cancer, injury, heart attack, pneumonia or some form of dementia or a Ponzi scheme) and no one comes to your aid, you have just experienced one of the worst senior moments imaginable.

Now, who should come to your aid? Suppose you live alone (or with a spouse who cannot provide assistance), and suppose you live some distance from your children/grandchildren, who is responsible? According to Mollie Ziegler Hemingway (CT/July 2009): your children! She goes on to discuss how parents have dutifully and loving cared for their children "no matter how many diapers and scrapes must be tended to [because] it is a joyous experience while aging involves untold sadness and indignity."

A century ago the average lifespan was 47 years; today it is about 78 years. We live in a much more mobile era when families are often separated by distance, sometimes long distances. Families do not exist very often nowadays as extended families who live under one roof or with close proximity to each other. And then there are complications caused by broken families, single parents and a complex array of step-children.

Who then is responsible? The government, local or federal? Social institutions? Church connections? Neighbors? Close friends? More distant relatives? Or opportunists (including con artists)? How sad when even a trusted relative or friend befriends a senior and misappropriates their nest eggs.

For those of us who seek for solutions, both ancient and contemporary, it is difficult to ignore Mollie Ziegler Hemingway's admonition: Children, take care of your parents! The Good Book has quite a bit to say about this: Honor your mother and father. This not only includes young children but grown children. We also read from the Psalmist who pleads Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.

And now a word to middle aged children with elderly parents. If you have not given much or any thought about your parents welfare in their declining years, it isn't too late. Whatever you do, be kind and gentle, thoughtful and magnanimous, thinking of their welfare before that of your's. As a former Continuing Care Retirement Community Chaplain, I heard repeatedly from many residents that we came to this facility as a gift to our children [so they wouldn't have to worry about our latter years]. What are your thoughts about your elderly, possibly needy parents?

Seniors, if this seems appropriate, feel free to send this to your children. And grandchildren.